Heather: I'm from Arizona.
Joey (Editor's note: works at Pixar, in Bonn to help launch the show): I'm from Arizona too. Where are you from?
J: I'm from Phoenix.
H: My sister lives in Phoenix.
J: It seems so rare to run into Arizonans outside the state.
H: Now here's the important question...
(EN: At this point I know precisely what Heather is planning on asking. Did Joey graduate from U of A, home of the Wildcats, or ASU, home of Sparky the Sun Devil, who Heather derisively writes off as "Sparkles." And it's true, Sparkles does look more like the logo for a kitchen cleaning product than anything you'd be concerned about confronting on the gridiron. To wit:
See what I mean? "Sparkles: The Quicker Picker Upper"
J: Corona del Sol (EN: high school).
H: Uh-oh (EN: remarked Heather, a Saguaro HS graduate), but I meant college.
J: Oh, I went to Northwestern. (EN: At this point, I politely extract myself from an entirely different conversation by whipping my head around in mid-sentence and saying...)
Dave: You're kidding. I went to Northwestern.
D: Yeah, I'm from Chicago.
Warren (EN: also works at Pixar, also in Bonn to help launch the show): Where in Chicago?
D: You're kidding.
W: No, where?
D: Oak Park. It's on the west...
W: I'm from Oak Park.
D: No way.
W: It's true.
D: You're making that up (EN: continuing to accuse someone I've just met of lying)
W: No, I went to OPRF (EN: Oak Park River Forest HS)
D: I went to OPRF.
W: What year did you graduate?
D: '85. You? (EN: Moment of truth...)
W: '87. (EN: Damnit!!)
D: This is unreal. (EN: to no one in particular) Anyone here graduate from Grace Lutheran school?
German guy two tables over stands up and says: Class unt '78.
(EN: Ok, I made that last one up.)
And speaking of mascots, Heather and I share one in our undergraduate affiliations: Wildcats. But the resemblance ends there, as you will, without question, agree.
Sleek, sexy, deadly...Willie
Tries hard, poor paw-eye coordination, best mascot in Arizona...Wilbur
Moron, slack-jawed, inbred...Cletus